Marriage is awesome! It can also be difficult. There are numerous factors that contribute to it being a mishmash of both. In conversation and counseling with couples I am convinced God’s blueprint for marriage, particularly as outlined in Genesis 1-3, needs to be stated and restated. One feature to that blueprint that requires emphasis: male leadership.

After God made Adam, he gave Adam instructions on how to live life in the garden. God hadn’t created Eve when he gave those details to Adam. The implication from the text one draws is that Adam was responsible to communicate those to his wife. This is exhibit ‘A’. Adam had the spiritual and theological responsibility to hear, understand, and communicate God’s Word to his wife and, ostensibly, the rest of his family. There’s nothing in the Bible that suggests this has changed. Men have the responsibility to be students of God’s Word, embody those truths in their lives, and communicate those truths to their wives and children (cf. Ephesians 6:4).

Exhibit ‘B’ is more subtle. In reading Genesis 3:1-7, it can be easy to picture the scene as involving just two characters: the serpent and Eve. But that’s not what the text says. After the serpent successfully dupes Eve into thinking eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil will make her life wonderful, she takes some fruit from the tree and eats it. But the text then says this: “She also gave some to her husband, who was with her…”(Genesis 3:6).

Adam was there!

The whole time!

And he said nothing!

The result? Sin. Brokenness. Conflict. Dysfunction. 

Male passivity in marriage (and life in general!), is never a good thing because it was never a God-thing. So, men, please listen. Our understanding of what it means to be a man should never be shaped by 21st century life in the U.S.. T.V. shows, movies, and social media don’t get it right. Our understanding of what it means to be a man and how to be a man, comes from just one place: God’s Word, the Bible! You’re not going to naturally drift towards the Bible’s picture of manhood. You’re going to need help. Help from the Scriptures, your church, your pastor, and other Christian men. (This is one of the reasons, I’m grateful for our Men’s Frat ministry!) So go get help in becoming a man who rejects passivity!

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